It was my birthday yesterday. I allowed myself a little pampering this week, and I took a few days away with some friends to celebrate. I used this time to recharge, slow down, celebrate turning 39 as well as think about my upcoming sober-versary. It was an incredible couple of days.
I spent the beginning of the week really focusing on self care and taking some time to slow down. I got a massage and had a facial, all things I never enjoyed before on trips away because I was always too hungover and concerned where I could get my next drink. This was the best kind of girls trip, spent doing yoga and lounging in robes on couches and steam rooms. I relaxed a lot, ate amazing food and laughed with my friends until my face ached.
I am realizing one thing in sobriety. By being wealthy in time rather than time famished, I am learning how to be more grateful for all that I have. These days, I am in control of how I use my time and what I do with it. Instead of allowing time to take over me, I take time for myself. In other words, instead of rushing around with a long to-do list, I get more out of my days by taking the time I need to appreciate the things around me. I am not constantly looking to escape, avoid and run away. Even when I feel overwhelmed or stressed, that is when it is most important to slow down.
At the moment, I have errands I must run and things that need to happen before the kids get off the bus. But instead I am taking a moment to enjoy the sunshine coming through the window, with my dog snuggling against me. Writing is me time. This is time for reflecting. It is time alone to slow down.
I must find time to breathe. I allow the quiet of the house to bathe me in peacefulness. I need this. For my own joy, and so I can give more attention to my children later today. Rather than rushing to get to the post office, I am figuring out how to relish in what is right in front of me. At the moment, it is savoring a quiet minute on this couch.
Taking a break from what you consider "work" and doing something reflective that you WANT to do may make you feel more joyful. You will suddenly feel rich with time again simply be slowing down and making the space for it.
When I was drinking, I wasted my days hungover. Hours were spent thinking about drinking, avoiding being in the moment and escaping my reality with alcohol. I did anything to dodge dealing with my actual feelings, because I wasn't happy with myself. I couldn't allow myself to be wealthy in time, because I was too scared to face my problems. I was terrified to be alone with my thoughts and acknowledge the sad truths that were all around me, and that was that alcohol was slowly destroying my life.
It is rewarding to experience this life now that I am sober. These days, I am grateful to be wealthy in time. I am able to sit with myself in these quiet moments and feel peace finally. I am not starved for time anymore, and I relish in the gentler pace.
